I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
