thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
