just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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