put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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