I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
