elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
