Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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