He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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