morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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