laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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