he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
