The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
