highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
