he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
