atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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