dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
