all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
