discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
