guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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