Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize