What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
