Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
