The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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