i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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