I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
