Your mouth is God's brothel.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
