It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
