Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
