pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
