I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
