Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Boobs are out for the taking
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
