4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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