So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
