its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
