Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
