you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
