Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
