Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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