Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you will always have a special place in my vag
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
