Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
