Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
