Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize