You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
