lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There are leaves in my underwear?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
