you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
