naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
