i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
