He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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