batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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