I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
