so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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