idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
