i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
