all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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