I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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