Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize