I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
