no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize